HAPPY TALK 1

CASE HISTORY JULIO AND MARIA HE TAKES CONTROL OF THE CONVERSATION -EVEN IN BED Some partners cannot resist speaking on behalf of the other. Julio not only did this in the consulting room, he even did it at home, in bed. As a result Maria, his wife, had finally gone on strike. JULIO is 29, and a…

LOVE AND MARRIAGE – A SURVIVAL KIT

FAMILY BACKGROUND THE GROWTH OF CONFIDENCE COMMUNICATION How compatible are you? Do your family backgrounds match up? Do you think alike or do you revel in your differences? Can you understand your partner’s “language”? What level is your self-confidence at and does it match your partners? Can you parent each other without become a fulltime…

MY VIEW OF WHO I AM

We take our original ideas of who we are from our immediate family. From birth we experience the feeling of being less than others and therefore the family is the first group where we strive to feel significant. Depending on our failure or success (in the eyes of the family) we adjust our self-view. Who we are therefore…

DIFFERENT BELIEF SYSTEMS

Early on, in the bosom of our family, we learn what is good and what is bad. If a mother glares at a daughter on finding the girl sitting on a boyfriends knee, that daughter knows she is saying “I disapprove of your behaviour. You are too young to be sexual and the whole idea of you being…

THE FAMILY CONSTELLATION

HOW TO DRAW IT Imagine your page as a spider’s web. Position yourself in the centre like the  spider and place the important members of your family at appropriate distances away from you. You can draw them, name them or simply mark them with Xs. HOW TO INTERPRET IT The following are the questions to ask…

WHAT DO I EXPECT FROM A RELATIONSHIP?

As little children, most of us grow up within a family. The family supplies us with views of ourself, our role in the pecking order, a sense of goodness or badness and a wider view of the world. The family consists not only of parents and siblings but of anyone living in close proximity on a permaneant basis….

INTRODUCTION TO DIFFERENT BELIEF SYSTEM

There’s a famous sex therapy story about the woman who wore a lacy night dress. Every time she put this on she intended it as a signal to her husband that she was inviting sex. Her husband, who wasn’t fluent in “nightie”, preferred action instead. But the wife never moved. The result – impasse. And…

CASE HISTORY

DIFFERENT BELIEF SYSTEMS SAM has an engaging smile, a twinkle in his eyes and a quirky sense of humour. “I’m being deluged with food. When I sit down at the kitchen table of an evening, it’s like having to perform a fairy tale task. In my case, it’s compulsory to eat my way through at least…

THE BODY SPEAKS 1

CASE HISTORY RHONA HE TURNS AWAY FROM ME IN BED Sexual problems, presented in the counselling clinic, are often emotional difficulties in disguise. Very often it becomes apparent that the sexual difficulty is only on the surface. In Rhona’s case, she desperately needed attention of any sort. RHONA is 50. She has short-cropped mouse-coloured hair and is…

WHO SHOULD I BE? 1

CASE STUDY BILL AND MARILYN I SHOULD BE THE WORLD’S GREATEST LOVER Bill and Marilyn were worried because their sex life appeared to be dwindling. They both felt that they should be having sex more often and each was feeling guilty and ashamed that they couldn’t seem to manage this. BILL was 32 and worked as…